When Mom’s and Dad’s Are Able to Work Together, Kids Win, So Do It
It's very important to recognize the importance of each parent in the life of a child. Many great parents have had to fight, in the courts, for time with their kids. The laws surrounding visitation and co-parenting, seemed to be swayed in one direction, leaving dads feeling left out and unimportant. In some states, like Kentucky, GOOD parents don't have to fight for equal time.
This issue has personally affected me and my blended family. As I look across the room at my husband, I know he would have loved more time with his daughter but he didn't dare ask because he knew the answer would be no. He got ONLY the minimum time that the court paper stated, even though he hoped and prayed every day for more time. His importance was NOT recognized. And, his sadness broke my heart.
Ever since I have known Quenton, he has tried to get more time with his daughter. Like a lot of very good fathers, he just wanted equal time with his child but because of laws that favored the primary parent, his attempts got him nowhere. Until recently, he would have had to go to court to get just a little more time. Now, the law makes parenting equal.
In the past, many mothers viewed the parenting time guidelines as a maximum, not a minimum. So, the guidelines were often abused. The laws were set up to protect children from fathers who let them down and neglect them emotionally and financially. Basically, unfit fathers. While there are many, many dads out there who don't deserve equal time because they are unreliable, irresponsible, they don't pay child support and often see their own children as a burden, there are just many men who are quite the opposite. They are loving, kind, ultra-supportive, and wonderful fathers. If you are a mother who uses your child as a pawn, a weapon, or tool for pain against your ex, SHAME ON YOU!!!
Kentucky has a law that requires equal time. Bravo, Kentucky!!! No longer can a parent use their child to hurt their ex. Read more about the law, HERE!
In essence, if the father of your child/children loves them, is always there for them, pays child support for them (On time!), pays for the extras for them, nurtures them, cares for them, wants to see them......YOU ARE LUCKY!!! AND SO ARE THEY!!!! Do NOT keep your child away from their father. Recognize his importance!!! He is JUST as important as YOU! A child needs a wonderful, loving, strong father just as much as he/she needs a wonderful, loving, strong mother.
No matter what the law is in your state, PLEASE find a way to put your past behind you and focus on what is best for your child. Trying to keep a child away from a parent or talking bad about the other parent, whether mom or dad, is WRONG!! IF you have an ex who wants to co-parent, DO IT! Your child will be all the better for it. I know it's hard to do because of all of the hard feelings that sometimes surround a co-parenting situation. I've had a hard time myself. But, I always tried to focus on the fact that my kids had a good dad and that is what was most important.
I found a video that speaks from the hearts of the children. What is YOUR child's heart saying????
Be the best parent your child could ask for, even if you are divorced or not married to your co-parent. Put your child first. That means always encouraging love, kindness, and respect for the other parent. Just because they don't love you, doesn't mean that don't love their child. If your co-parent is a good parent, do what is right for your child. Your child needs both of you.