The holidays are here, so get your priorities straight. First, get snockered. ( Pour liquor in a red solo cup, lift up to face, repeat.) Second, make sure you'll never again be stuck with cheap cologne or make the mistake of giving your lady cleaning supplies. Since you're too eggnogged to make out your list, I went online and dug up the coolest gifts on the planet for every room in your house. Here it is...
Watch This ($4,199)
With Samsung's new 60 inch (60.0" Diag.) Class LED 8000 Series Smart TV in my house I wouldn't have time to write this blog. All of my favorite shows and past favorite shows can be upconverted to 3D at the touch of a button! If it can make Ashton Kutcher funnier in Two And A Half Men I might start watching again... Maybe not.
Foos Gold ($340)
The Sportcraft 56-inch Foosball Table has a tournament-field layout, sleek design, but the only thing it's missing is cup holders. I still suggest that you load your fridge with beer, Crank Toby Keith's Red Solo Cup way up, and invite me over. Seriously, give me a call.
Glove-less Inspection ($300)
I had a hard time reading the features for this new product without laughing my A$ off. Ok, Let me tell you what it is first. Dewalt came out with a 12v Max Cordless Lithium-Ion Inspection Camera that has a removable screen which is supposed to help in tight, awkward areas (chuckle chuckle.) The only thing the site missed that would have made it more hilarious, is if it said NOT TO BE USED FOR HOME COLONOSCOPIES!
Shave Time ($250)
The Braun Series 7 (previously known as the Braun Pulsonic) has an unusual gimmick: The shaver's foil head vibrates laterally, producing a pulsating effect that makes your skin ripple (and presumably causes the hairs to stick out a little straighter.) I'm not sure what to think about that, but it is one of the coolest electric razors money can buy. You may not be able to afford shaving cream after dishing out for this though.
Easy To Mount ;) ($260)
For your viewing pleasure Venturer has come up with a 15 inch under-counter TV. I realize that no guy would watch what's on this TV. So grab a beer, some pizza and turn the game on. In the kitchen baby!
Write On! ($93)
With the IRISnotes 1.0 Digital Pen at Best Buy, you can scribe all day long, then plug in the USB receiver and see exactly what you wrote the whole day on your computer. Knowing that, there's definitely a lot of uses for this. Just make sure if you're girlfriend borrows it, she doesn't find out about the receiver.
Star Trek Sleep ($80)
I used to have to wake up super early every weekday morning to get to the station. Then on the weekends I would go to bed later and wake up later. My sleep patern was really messed up, making it hard to get to sleep at times. If you're anything like I was, you might want to ask for this gift. At thinkgeek.com you can find a sweet little watch-like device, that when activated, will apply mild acupuncture technique to massage your sleeping golden triangle gently, inducing sleep. Yes, taking a sleeping pill will knock you out soo much quicker and is much cheaper. Then again, sleeping pills don't give you the quality sleep that you need though. Well, the effect is not known yet but it looks extremely cool. Just make sure you take it off before you leave the house to avoid the question... What the heck is that on your wrist?