Indiana Man’s Humorous Self-Written Obituary

This gentleman's self-written obituary makes me wish that we had met.

When it comes to obituaries, they are typically written by family members and loved ones after one has passed. Generally, they are heartfelt and classy. It isn't every day that you see an obituary that was written by the person who passed. It also isn't something that you see often, where an obituary makes you laugh. That's exactly what happened with Gary Wolfelt's recent obituary.

Gary Wolfelt of Lafayette, Indiana

According to Fox 59, Gary Wolfelt, a 72-year-old from Lafayette, was the only person in a single-engine Express 2000 FT plane crash in Ohio on May 5. Wolfelt built the plane himself, which was a 17-year endeavor. But Gary knew that he had been cheating death for far too long after a lifetime of close calls that he decided to go ahead and write up his own obituary for when his luck finally ran out.

“I am completely dead now,” Gary wrote at the beginning of his obituary. “I am surprised that it took this long to happen.”

Gary's obituary details all of his close calls throughout his life, and I must say, the way he wrote it makes me wish we had met because it sounds like he had quite a few good stories.

"Sometime during my grade school years while I was the second baseman on the most losing team in Little League Baseball history (0 for 20), I lost sight of a fly ball in the sun and got beaned right on the forehead. I guess that explains a lot later in life now that I think about it. In my twenties my sister's horse kicked me real hard right in the gut. Any higher and my heart probably would have stopped. Any lower and I probably would have been singing soprano for the rest of my life."

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In this obituary, Gary also offers some apologies to folks that he may have offended or mistreated throughout his life. Wolfelt also lovingly and jokingly reflected on his family, pondering if his sister had anything to do with that horse-kicking incident. When talking about his wife, he said:

"Esther was very nice to me most all of the time, even when I spent the grocery money on tools and airplane parts. It is not likely that many men have had it as good as I have had it at home. I was well fed and well loved from the start to finish."

While listing off a list of his greatest accomplishments, being married to his wife, Esther, for over forty years, was at the very top. After that, he was very proud that he cut about 100 cords of firewood.

Wrapping up his obituary, he spoke on how he wanted his life to be celebrated after his death:

“In accordance with my wishes, there will be no funeral. I don’t want people coming by to look at me all dressed up and stretched out in an expensive box looking as bad as I will probably look in a completely dead condition…. Maybe after a while some of my friends might get together and have a party on my behalf. I will try to remember to have a nice full size stand up cardboard cutout of me available for the event. I am pretty sure someone will want to claim it for a dart board afterwords.”

Gary seemed like a guy that I could talk to for hours, just listening to his stories and the humor that would come along with it. In the end, it sounded like he lived life to the fullest. Read Gary’s full obituary for yourself by clicking here.