Christmas Gifts The Internet Told Me To Buy For Mom

I'm a guy, so of course I'm not done Christmas shopping.  Where does a procrastinator like me go to figure out what to get somebody?  Well, the amazing world wide web, of course.  When looking for a gift for my mother, I Googled "Christmas Gifts For Mom."  After clicking on one of the first links that came up, I ended up at Redenvelope.com.  Here are some of the gifts that this website thinks my mom wants.

Hooch Owl Corkscrew

The description says, "In wine, there is wisdom."  I've found that in wine, there is alcohol, and if you drink enough of it, you might buy junk like this.  The Hooch Owl is molded from a design from the 30's, a time when I'm guessing people took time to enjoy opening a bottle.  Yes, it looks like the owl is flying away...great, great, just get to the wine!  Not sure my mom is patient enough for this one, and at nearly $50, Whooooo would ever buy this?

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The website tells me that these five pound versions of the gummy classic will "satisfy even the most die-hard gummy addict."  Not sure that description fits my mom, but I think she would be impressed to know these treats are "bigger than a football."  This must be quite the selling point, because they mentioned it twice.  At just under $30, this may be the winning gift for Mom! 

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Beer Holster

This website seriously has been spying on my mom.  What mom wouldn't enjoy this beer holster?  It's like the description says, "this handy holster keeps a bottle of beer right where it belongs - by their side."  It's the perfect for the alcoholic that just can't be tied down.  Oh, and look!  It can be personalized with up to 3 letters.  M-O-M!

I really thought the internet would be more reliable.  I guess it's back to searching Ebay for the perfect Christmas Gift!