10 Things You Should Never Say To A Boonvillian
If you have lived in a town long enough, you know there are certain things that you should never bring up. If you're not from Boonville, you may not understand these things. However, consider this a warning as to what you shouldn't say to someone from Boonville.
10. “You spell it B-O-O-N-E, right?”
- No! For some reason it really grinds my gears when someone spells Boonville as Booneville. That would make it sound like "Boon-evil"...
9. Why is it cool to hang out in a parking lot?
- I don't know, it just is. Don't knock hanging out in the old Walmart parking lot until you've tried it!
8. Boonville? Aren't y'all just a bunch of rednecks?
- Coming from the person who just said "y'all"...but in the words of Blake Shelton, "Have you ever got down with a red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, redneck?!"
7. What is the Square?
- Well, it has four sides...and it's otherwise known as "Downtown".
6. Nothing good ever came out of Boonville!
5. What the heck is Derr's Soda?
- Grab a bottle at IGA and get out of town!
4. There's nothing to do in Boonville!
- Get off of the couch! There's plenty of things to do in town that would make for a fun day. Just hit me up if you need some help in that department!
3. I have never been to Tastee Freeze.
- How do you sleep at night?! If you haven't been there before, go this summer. You can thank me later.
2. Oh, you're from Boonvegas?!
- ...haven't heard that one before. For the record, why in the heck to do we even call it Boonvegas, anyway?!
1. Do you want to go to Mr. Gatti's?
- Too soon, man...too soon. Gone but not forgotten.