Jon Wants to Know – Am I the Only Person Who Can’t Eat Anything Without Wearing It?

I just returned from a quick trip to California after my mother asked me to come out and help her with some things. After a couple of hours in town, we went to dinner at my favorite all-time Mexican Restaurant. I wasn't seated for two minutes before I dropped salsa on my shirt with the very first chip I ate and it happened three more times before we left. It just drives me crazy that I am completely incapable of eating ANYTHING without getting some of it on my shirt. Never my pants or my shoes...just my shirt. I did not eat a single meal out there without this happening and needless to say, I got very frustrated to the point of anger.

I looked at the shirts I packed and realized something...every single shirt I own has some kind of visible stain on it. Not huge stains and no stains that are very obvious, just those little grease or sauce stains that washing did not completely remove. You have to look pretty close to see them, but I see them and that's all that counts.

When I got home, I quickly scanned the shirts in my closet and except for the very dark colored ones, almost every one had a little stain. I am absolutely convinced that this happens to nobody else, at least not to this extent. Spaghetti and Mexican are the worst culprits and two of my favorite foods.

My wife will tell you that she has never seen me eat spaghetti without at least one drop of sauce on my shirt...EVER! In an effort to avoid this, I even ate plain spaghetti with a little butter and guess what? That's right, I dropped a couple of noodles on my shirt and the butter created a very nice and stylish grease stain.

On Monday, as we were getting to go to the airport, I was having lunch with my brother and got to the last bite of my BLT and had not spilled a single drop...I was giddy with excitement and then it happened...as I was taking in the last bite, a little drop of mayo made it's way out from the bottom of the sandwich and found it's way to the center of my shirt and I didn't have time to change. I swear, I can't win for losing and I'm starting to think I have some kind of problem and that I am all alone in this. Am I?