Five Most Disappointing Christmas Gifts I ‘Had To Have’

You remember how it was when you were a kid.  There was always toys you desperately wanted for Christmas.  You knew you had to put it on your list to Santa.  Why?  Because you saw an awesome commercial for it!  Here are the five top gifts I BEGGED for Santa to bring, and when he did, I was less than thrilled with the result.

1) Hit Stix

What kid didn’t want to play the drums?  I know I did, and Hit Stix would give me the ability to play the drums anywhere.  Well, not really.  Playing them in the air only worked about half the time and Mom wouldn’t let me drum on just anything, so it got pretty boring really quick.  By the way, it shows you how good marketing will make kids forget things, like that you don’t need your own amplifier to beat on things with sticks.  If you hit something, it will make noise…I promise.

2) Chia Pet

I’m not sure what about the thought of these things made us kids of the 80′s and 90′s want them.  I’m not a fan of botany.  I don’t care if we have a house plant even to this day.  Why I would possibly waste lead on writing Santa Claus to send me a ram in which I could wait 4 weeks to grow weeds is beyond me.  Maybe it was the catchy jingle.  Either way, the minute I spread those seeds, it was obvious, this was a wasted Christmas wish.

3) Flex

After seeing this AWESOME commercial I wanted this truck so bad.  Seriously, the tires adjusted to ANY roadblock.  They would, as the spot said “automatically lower to get below any roadblock and rise to overcome any challenge.”  What they don’t tell you is that this truck isn’t a “smart truck.”  You have to pull the lever on the back of it to change said tire shape as you chase the truck around whatever treacherous landscape you’ve created, which wasn’t very had since the top speed was about .06 miles per hour in a straight line with no way to steer.  Chalk up Flex as pointless as a wind-up car that goes in circles.

4) Domino Rally

This was probably one of the coolest commercials EVER!  All the cool colored dominoes going in all directions…rockets!  Good stuff, right?  Some commercials say “batteries not included.”  This commercial should have said “patience not included.”  It never failed with these dominoes, that I would be halfway through an epic setup and sneeze it down.  “That’s it!  I’m done!”  Never to go back again.  Also, I don’t know how you get those fancy colored dominoes, because mine were all black, and you had to break them off that plastic stem before using so they all had a little nub on the bottom that made them so hard to stand up in the first place.  This frustrates me just thinking about it!

5) Super Duper Double Looper

Slot car tracks were always a hot item for me.  I already had one, when the SDDL came out, but I couldn’t resist the thought of a full loop and a crazy upside-down jump.  It wasn’t until I re-watched the commerical below that I realized there was a built-in disclaimer in the spot.  I don’t for the life of me remember the upside-down jump being called the “Impossible Jump,” but now it makes sense.  It is TOTALLY impossible.  It makes me wonder how many angry calls they got from parents saying, “My kids can’t make these stupid cars jump and frankly these cars are getting so beat up, we can’t even use them.”  I’m sure the answer was “Well, we said it was impossible.”  Genius.

So, there you go…Santa’s big busts of my childhood.  I’m sure you had some bad experiences with your awesome, must-haves.  What was your biggest disappointment?