5 Unusual Valentine’s Day Gifts to Surprise Your Significant Other

You’ve been with the guy who has everything for years. Through countless birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s Days. What in this world do you get him now? He doesn’t need more golf stuff and he never wears a tie anyway. He has yet to cash in your last love certificate and you do all the chores, so you can’t give him a pass for that. If he’s the kind of guy who likes to be prepared, we have the perfect gift: He needs the Every Day Carry Zombie 3-Day Survival/Disaster Preparedness Kit—with a five-year shelf life. Face it, the zombies are coming, and it’s romantic when your man takes care of you, so you’re gonna want him to be ready.

Every good guy knows that giving a girl jewelry is a quick way to her heart. And what better jewelry is there for Valentine’s Day than a heart-shaped necklace? But you don’t want to get her the same thing her last boyfriend got her, so we have a suggestion: Deliver your special lady a velvet box containing an anatomically correct heart-shaped necklace. We found a beautiful 24-karat-gold-plated heart pendant on Etsy that actually looks like a real heart, right down to the red, micro-faceted garnet. When she can’t find the words to say, tell her, “Every artery and valve, every atrium and ventricle are captured in this pendant, and it hangs from a ring which itself loops through the aorta.” Then watch her swoon.

We get it: your relationship is new. Suddenly there’s this holiday of love, and now you have to get a gift for a guy you barely know. That happens sometimes. But this is your chance to accomplish a couple of things. You started dating him because he was a real man’s man. Very masculine. At some point in time, you realized that his extreme masculinity also meant he was kind of—well, okay, super—hairy. But you like this guy and you don’t know how to tell him that the furry thing isn’t working for you and some manscaping might help. Problem solved: get him the ManGroomer back hair shaver. This amazing machine can help him reach all those out-of-the-way fuzzy spots and will show how much you care without initiating a long, awkward conversation. You’ll be scratching his very smooth back in no time.

Look, mister—you have been dating your girlfriend for a long time. She’s not getting any younger waiting for you to pop the question. Of course, if you’re finally going to ask her to marry you, you’ll need to get a ring. We realize rings are expensive and maybe you can’t yet afford the giant rock she demands (yes, we know, she’s demanding it). Don’t worry. This can be the year you get cheesy like all those other guys and spend Valentine’s Day on your knee asking your woman that very important question. All you have to do is get her the “Will You Marry Me” mug. Every time she hears her biological clock ticking, she can put the mug ring around her finger and enjoy her morning coffee. It even comes in a fancy box so you can properly surprise her. Just be careful. If she has good aim, you might get hit in the head with it.

You know who really deserves a special display of love on Valentine’s Day? Your best friend. The most loyal pal you have. Yes, your dog. Sure, sometimes you have to clean up his poop at 3 a.m., but think of all the things he does for you. He greets you at the door. He wags his tail when you call his name. And he’s way more trainable than the last person you dated. Show your dog how much you love him by getting him a heart-shaped box full of Valentine’s Day doggie treats. The box of 15 treats has eight cookies, six truffles and one bon bon. It even comes with a tag you can write a love note to your pup. Give that pooch something to lick other than his delicate doggy parts.