Yep, its that time of year where you see countdowns, lists and what nots of 2017. Don't forget that you'll see the resolutions for 2018. People will go hard at them for a while but then fall off that wagon. I always find myself falling off the wagon over something.

This year was a different year for me. I don't want another one like it. I've learned a lot. I've cried a lot. Moving home after being out over 10 years was a shock. I've ended a relationship with someone that I could've seen myself with, but he was on a different page, in a different book. Learned dating is somewhat of a joke. Don't complain about being with shady ladies, then decide to date one again. Go be Captain save a oh and you'll get your shirt that smells nice when I get back in to town. Lastly, I've learned that I'm the worst at loving myself. I got to that point to where I didn't care. After getting better treatment, Ive gotten better. But its a process

Two little boys I absolutely adore are a part of my joy. No, not the dogs but my great nephews. Bralyn has grown so much and not even 2, I have to steal his kisses. His parents are big Kentucky Wildcat fans, I am not. So a while back I found Tennessee Vols pacifiers, and waited to slip him the Vols one. Christmas finally gave me a chance. One his parents seen it, they took it and gave him another one. Bralyn then screamed and cried. he stopped when he got the Vols pacifier. Personal win for me.

My second great nephew is still being fostered by my nephew and his wife. He's a smart kid that is now 4 and has grown so much since he's been with the family. I find myself picking up stickers and small toys for J.J. and Bralyn. My biggest joy is making J.J. his birthday cake. His party was dinosaur themed and i even had the dinos helping me with the baking of the cakes. The smile he had at his part was amazing. Maybe one day I can share it.

2018, I'm not ready for you. I can't stop you from getting here. I'll take you in stride and learn to smile at what you give me. I'm not finished yet.