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Jon’s Random Thoughts About Hamsters – The Messiest Pets Ever

Midnight
Jon Prell

Since my boys live with us now, I have discovered something that I was hoping never to find out. Hamsters are the messiest pets ever and the room they’re in seems to have a permanent stench that just won’t go away…kind of like a men’s room that hasn’t been cleaned in weeks. Last night we informed the boys that they needed to clean out their cages several times a week, which might seem like a lot, but have you ever had a hamster? These tailless rodents are constantly kicking their bedding out of the cage and onto the dresser and floor and I finally figured out why.

They are not kicking out the bedding as much as they are kicking out their own waste and there is a lot of it. The bedding only serves to disguise what is actually being kicked out. I thought the many black specs in the carpet was part of the carpet design. No no no, it is actually little hamster droppings…are you kidding me? Droppings on the dresser, the mirror and the floor. Good thing I checked for the first time behind the dresser…good lord!

When my boys clean out the cages, they put the hamsters, Chubby and Midnight, in a hamster ball so they can’t run off and hide. Because they can’t roll the ball on the carpet, my boys set them down on our wood floor and they proceeded to roll all over the house, which my wife found enormously entertaining…I did not.

All these things do is sleep and kick out their crap and being the neat freak I am, this is not a good thing. The boys can’t even handle them that much because they tend to nip at your fingers, which means they are messy and rude. They are the most pointless points pets ever.

A family member suggested they are better than having a snake or a tarantula. I would completely disagree. Snakes and tarntulas are awesome for scaring the daylights out of neighborhood girls, so they at least serve a useful and hilarious purpose. Who doesn’t laugh out loud when they wake up to find a tarantula on their chest and a snake slithering behind their head…anyone? I know I would…I think.

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